It seems a lot of people in my life are finding themselves in times of BIG life change. So far I haven’t been able to say or write anything to them that couldn’t be taken as flippant or pandering. How could I possibly know what they’re going through? I’m not them and I haven’t been through it. Instead, I’m writing to myself – for future reference – for the days I reach the next stages of my life. Deep breath, here it goes …
Dear Future Me:
Do you Remember one of your favorite sayings about change Carol? I hope you do, you came up with it!
“Unchangeable is unnatural.”
And so, here you are again, time for another change. You can do this. You’ve done it at least 100 times before. Each time you thought “this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Maybe it was. Remember, always …. and I mean ALWAYS … something interesting, maybe even wonderful, was on the other side.
Do you really need proof? Of course you do! Fine, here it is …
The easiest one to show you is the time you left the man before Brian … I mean the last time you left him. It wasn’t that it was hard to leave him but you lost your investments and the equity in your home in exchange for clear title to your life. I’m glad you did that, even if it wasn’t the greatest financial decision. Brian found you then! Need I say more?
And recently, you had to let one of your very few friendships go after that friend called you an uncompassionate, condescending bitch? That’s the time you discovered that saying “I’m sorry” can be just as much an apology to yourself as it is to the other person. And that other person never really needs to know who you are really apologizing to – they don’t care, they just need to hear “I’m sorry.” And you learned that ending a friendship doesn’t always mean the end of caring – sometimes you’re just getting yourself out of the line of fire. You did what you had to do to claim your space and show compassion to you. I’m glad you did that; I’m glad you didn’t grovel or try to stay friends.
I know these now seem like pretty easy changes. Back then they weren’t. Remember that?
In every one of your changes, there has always been a gift, something you discovered about you or about others or about life. Every … single … time … there was a gift.
Maybe this time you’ll discover that it’s kind of nice to not have so much responsibility or so many things to do.
Maybe this time you’ll see that allowing someone to care for you allows them to feel special and useful.
Maybe this time you’ll see the biggest magic and best surprises yet.
Maybe the gift will be within the change or maybe after. There will be a gift.
Please stay curious and light like I know you truly Be. You can do this! I have faith in you. You’ve done stuff like this 100 times before. You continue to surprise and impress me.
Onward Carol! We’ve got this!